Watch These Stars Go Out
by wispykitty
Summary: With all of his mortal friends dying, Legolas ponders at the value of his immortal life without them.


Set after ROTK, and yes, the years are likely pretty screwed up. But just ignore that minor technicality, please. ;) Basically, this is just my idea of what goes on in the future, once everyone from the Fellowship has died, leaving Legolas to ponder the value of his immortal life without his mortal friends. There is one OC, which would be Allumiel, his wife. With all that has transpired and come to pass, Thranduil has decided to retire his crown to Legolas, and with the responsibilities of being the new King, comes the grief and longing for old friends. It's a good old angst fest, and I hope somebody out there enjoys it. ;) I'm currently working on many more LOTR stories, involving Lego of course, and if you're curious to know what I'm working on, check out my profile. I'll hopefully start posting at least one of them this summer, I just want to get more written on them. :) Oh and a final note, the lyrics used are to Dubstar's "Stars".  
  
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~Is it asking too much to be given time To know these songs and to sing them Is it asking too much of my vacant smile And my laugh and lies that bring them~  
  
Seemingly unaware of the raging festivities around him, the newly crowned King of Mirkwood sat beneath a tree, in the midst of a large group of friends and family, yet alone. His eyes travelled upwards, gazing into the night sky, grasping for a view of any shining star. He heard light footsteps approach him, but made no move to greet his visitor. He knew who it was, and she was accustomed to his behaviour.  
  
"Will you sit out here, alone, the whole night? I know you believe in your heart that no one notices, but we do. I'm not alone in my worries, my love." The slender hand of the Queen fell upon his arm, an attempt at a comforting gesture, but a gesture that could yield no comfort. The King said nothing in reply, simply flitted his eyes back and forth between those of his wife, and back to the few stars he saw in the sky. Knowing her attempts would prove useless, she planted a light kiss on her husband's cheek before rising. She made her way back to the raging bonfire, which was surrounded by many merry elves, but which was lacking the smiling eyes of its King.  
  
"I have never seen an elf so consumed with grief, yet still so able to manage his life. Your husband is truly an anomaly among our kind, my lady."  
  
"I'm not so certain that's a great thing, however. I have no idea what else I can do for him, Rumil. His grief consumes him, yet he will share it with no one, not even I." Queen Allumiel allowed her eyes to trail back to the image of her husband, sitting alone, his grief clear on his face.  
  
"I suppose that is because there is none among us who can truly understand his pain. He has lost many of his closest friends, and loses more still as the days pass. It is different to lose a friend of a different race, who dies of old age, decaying before your eyes. He barely has any of them left."  
  
"Only Frodo remains, and he is not long for our world. He will be the last of the Fellowship, to greatly outlive them all."  
  
"If only Arwen had not given up her immortality for her love, if she were still here, she would understand his grief. I suppose he often thinks of that, of wanting to give up his own life, to die quietly and find his friends in the afterlife." The two elves could not hide their own grieving stares, wishing for a change in attitude among their companion. As though aware of their gazes, King Legolas stood, gazing one final time into the sky, before slowly moving to join them by the fire. Allumiel stood beside him, tilting her face upwards to receive a kiss from his lips.  
  
"What brings you to us, my love?"  
  
"I thought perhaps you were right. I should not spend my entire time in grief. There are still those of you left to me, that I may hold dear." Both Rumil and Allumiel knew from his tone, however, that as great as the King's love for them ran, none were as dear to his heart as those that he had already lost.  
  
"Look, I believe they are readying to sing." A line of young elves were lining up, smiling at one another and jostling for position, making last minute enquiries as to which tale they would be putting to song. There was really no question, however. They would sing of the events which occupied the majority of songs these days, songs of the famed Fellowship of the ring, songs praising the actions of their new King. Legolas looked upon the youth as they began their song, forcing a smile to his face. He would fake his joy at their songs, as he always did. As they continued to sing his praise, he would smile more broadly, and would laugh when humorous lines were sung, and would attempt a look of appreciation on his face. He convinced many, fooled most, but there were those few who saw through his façade.  
  
~But as the stars are going out And this stage is full of nothing And the friends have all but gone For my life my god I'm singing~  
  
It was not unusual for the King to lead his subjects in a song of his choosing, a song that would represent those feelings closest to his heart, and on this night things would prove no different. His voice rang clear and beautiful throughout the woods, bringing a smile to the face of everyone who heard it. For those who did not know his inner turmoil, they heard the admiration and respect he had for his old companions ring true in the songs. But for those close enough to the King to know his innermost emotions; and there were not many who had gained such close access to his heart; they heard the longing, the love, and the grief he sang of. While the song was a lament for his fallen friends, it was therapeutical in a sense as well, as the King believed strongly that in song he would have the only opportunity to publicly voice his feelings. A King could not show weakness, but in singing a song already written, could he allow himself to be honest.  
  
It was a rather long song, but the story itself could not be summed up quickly. The words were well known, and it was sung often. But each time King Legolas would lend his voice to it, the song would take on a new identity, there would be that much more emotion infused into the words. No one could sing it as he sang it, and no one would dare attempt.  
  
Queen Allumiel stood fast by her husband's side, the words coming to her mind subconsciously, as her thoughts were more focused on the effect the song was having upon her husband. She watched him closely, and was certain if there were no party in front of him, he would have fresh tears streaming down his cheeks. She had lost count of the number of times she had watched him, believing himself to be alone, gently sing to himself, moving his own eyes to tears.  
  
~Is it asking too much of my favourite friends To take these songs for real Is it asking too much of my partner's hands To take these songs for real~  
  
How she longed for tears now. She wished she could be alone with him, to allow him to grieve in her presence, and to allow her to comfort him. Badly she wanted to hold him, to delve into his mind and alleviate his pain. She longed to let him know it would be acceptable, for a King to break in front of his Queen. He did not always have to be the rock, supporting her from falling. Just once, did she desire to provide that for him. All it would take would be one time.  
  
Rumil watched the King and Queen together, wondering what could be going through their individual heads. He had a good idea of what Legolas was thinking, and was certain Allumiel wanted nothing more than to hear her husband vocalize his grief to her. He too wanted to same thing. Upon the end of the war, he had been the Lady Galadriel's chosen ambassador of Lothlorien, sending him to Mirkwood in order to aide the wood elves in rebuilding their kingdom. But he also knew that he had been sent to keep an eye on the soon to be king, to be a close friend needed in a coming time of sorrow. Where at first he had been worried about how things would turn out, he was now grateful he had been the Lady's choice. In losing many of his own friends in battle, along with his brothers, Rumil had an idea of the grief Legolas was going through. He had come to know Legolas' friends, the humans and the hobbits. Even Gimli, he had made acquaintance with. As the companions died, one by one, Rumil felt grief himself, but knew the pain erupting through the heart of his friend must be a thousand times more painful. Losing Haldir had been a hard enough strain on then Prince Legolas, who had made it through that brief period of darkness only with the help of his companions. Those were a few days that Rumil would never forget, and would himself be grateful for the bond he had been able to forge with the Mirkwood prince. That was the reason why Galadriel had chosen him to live in Mirkwood. He and Legolas had much in common, and understood many of the other's problems. But understanding someone's problem, and living someone's problem, were two completely different things.  
  
Both he and Allumiel tried in vain to understand the full extent of Legolas' sorrow, but neither would succeed. It was something he hid well, and something he would never fully show to any other.  
  
The singing eventually came to an end, thus marking the end of the festivities. Groups of elves clasped one another in their arms, as many made about stumbling their way back to the palace, back to their homes and their beds. Leaving the King to be finally alone. Allumiel and Rumil made a show of leaving as well, catching Legolas' eyes and conveying the idea that he would be alone. But they both had different plans, and felt compelled to catch him in a moment of emotional frenzy, to unlock his barriers and allow his grief to pour over them. They hid among the trees, watching as he waited for everyone to be gone. He stood still by the fire, gazing into the smouldering flames.  
  
~But as the stars are going out And this stage is full of nothing And the friends have all but gone For my life my god I'm singing~  
  
Legolas looked from the fire to the sky, once again, his gaze wistful and longing. Once certain there were none left around him to witness his moment of weakness, the young King of Mirkwood slowly allowed the tears that had been welling behind his eyes to begin trickling down his cheek, his vision of those stars remaining in the sky growing more blurred with each tear. Allowing himself to become lost among the voices of the trees around him, the deeply grieved elf opened his mouth once more, his voice bereft of the strength it had just previously held. The words tumbled from his lips, seemingly jumbled and foggy, as though the cleverly crafted lyrics were simply jagged thoughts running through his mind, being put together clumsily for the first time.  
  
Rumil and Allumiel watched, their initial intent of intruding upon his private lament stifled. With all he had been through in his relatively short elvish life, could they truly take this moment of emotional clarity from him? Simply watching him now seemed intrusive enough, would they dare intrude further?  
  
His voice choked, Legolas was more singing the words in his head then he was out loud. His thoughts once again drifted to memories, as faces floated in and out of focus, voices spoke in and out of tune. He heard the rough grumbling of a deep dwarven voice, the merry cheer of joyful hobbits, the calming influence of that rough human voice, speaking Elvish so eloquently.  
  
Falling to his knees, Legolas took down the last barrier remaining in this floodgate of emotions; allowing his tears to fall quickly and freely, allowing his body to be wracked by violent sobbing. His head falling forward into his hands, his grief consuming him wholly, the King of Mirkwood was entirely unaware of the two figures rushing to his side. When his wife pried his hands away from his face, his eyes were still so blurred with tears that he couldn't see whose arms were holding him now, and so loud were his cries that no voice could penetrate them. But for the first time in a long time, his emotions were slowly being herded back together, and the dam in his mind was being rebuilt. He could suddenly focus again, and the words suddenly fell off his tongue, and he was unable to find them.  
  
"Legolas, my love, it's alright."  
  
"Yes my friend, fear not, for no longer shall we let you carry this burden of grief alone. No longer shall you hide your scars." Feeling a finger brush the tears off his eyes, the King looked around him, suddenly worried that everyone would know that he had broken down. But all he saw were two faces, two faces that were full of worry, full of love, and full of confidence.  
  
"I apologize, I should take better care-"  
  
"You should take better care of nothing. You are allowed to grieve, Legolas! Just because you are King, does not mean you cannot feel pain at the passing of your friends."  
  
"It also does not mean that you should hide your grief from those friends you do have that remain." Legolas met the eyes of Rumil, and in them saw the grief his friend still held over the deaths of his brothers. Legolas laid a hand upon his friend's shoulder, drawing him near.  
  
"You are right. What time we waste in grief, when we should be in celebration of each other?" Rumil briefly met the King's eyes, before throwing his arms around the smaller elf and embracing him. Where they both expected tears, there were surprisingly none.  
  
"I believe with those words, my love, the time for tears have ended." Legolas met Allumiel's eyes, and pulled her in closer. For a moment the three stayed where they were, sitting on the ground, their arms holding each other close. Legolas broke the embrace, pulling himself together as he stood up, dusting off his clothing. The other two stood beside him, as their eyes all wandered up to the sky. There were only four visible stars in the sky, three of which shone brightly.  
  
"At one time, there were many more stars shining in my sky. But now there are only four. I fear soon, I shall lose yet another." As the words were spoken, they all noticed the fourth star appear a little more dull than a moment before. "But instead of giving myself to grief, I will instead spend my time looking upon the other two stars that shine brightly beside mine." Pulling both elves to him, they again embraced, this time no tears threatened to fall. "I suppose if I am to conduct business as usual in the morning, we should all retire back to the palace. The time for cries secretly hidden among the trees are over. If I am to grieve now, it will be in the company of those I love." Without breaking their physical bond, the three turned their back on the now cold bonfire pit, their steps in unison towards the palace.  
  
Before they entered the palace, they stood on the steps before the doors, turning once again to stare back at the woods from whence they came. The events that had transpired that night would forever remain in their minds, and in their hearts, and would serve as a reminder of the problems that would plague their relations with non mortals. They had only each other to forever depend upon, and that bond would have to stick.  
  
~We'll take our hearts outside Leave our lives behind And watch the stars go out~  
  
As they watched; their hands grasping each other more tightly; the dimming fourth star was extinguished. Legolas had only two now of whom he loved. But he had learned to cherish that which he still had, instead of longing for that which he had lost. 


End file.
